Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
