It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
