I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you didnt know i had herpes?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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