I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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