this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
