ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
