if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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