Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
