I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
