Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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