Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I need moral support for this bender
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
