just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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