he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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