talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
