I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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