we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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