he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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