Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
