If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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