if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
not ubering you a puppy
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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