At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
