hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
