He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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