We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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