hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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