When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
