You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
