Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
