I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
