drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Randomize
