where am i from again
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize