Will you blow on my dice?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
