I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
