I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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