I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you inspire me to be a worse person
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize