smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Green mimosas i think yes
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
