I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
