Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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