I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
