Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
