I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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