Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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