you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize