forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
