drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
