walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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