your room smells of hookers.
And success
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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