She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
