we have officially lost it.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
