are you so shy because you have an std?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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