I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
