it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Drunk is a universal language darling
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
