I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
