Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
