My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
