R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
