Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
