so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
