just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
