brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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