I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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