Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize