you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
