Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
