My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
